The Blog Standard & The Whole Picture

by Mandi on August 5, 2011

clean kitchen

Have you ever walked away from reading blogs and felt discouraged or disillusioned about your own home and life? I think for most of us, if we’re being honest, the answer is yes.

We see fabulous pictures of someone else’s perfect home with beautiful decor, the examples of crafts and activities they do with their kids, the amazing food they create in their kitchen…and we feel inadequate.

Lately, whenever I take a picture, I can’t help but laugh at the surrounding chaos. Because, you see, while I am very type-A, and we do live with less stuff than the average American family, and our home gets cleaned up every night before bed, during the day we live in our home, which means it’s messy and chaotic and…well, you’ll see.

So when I take a picture of some meal I’m serving, chances are that chaos isn’t very far outside of the scope of my camera. In fact, many times we have to kind of scoot it aside to make room to take the photo.

Let’s look at some examples:

dinner in the oven

Dinner in the oven before 5 p.m. is a rare enough occurrence that I took a picture of it. Despite the messy oven, there’s still something about this picture that might give you the impression that I have it all together. Until you see the larger version, of course. A sewing machine, laptop, pile of clean dishes and who-knows-what-else clutter up the counter as I go about my day!

sisters

Or how about this adorable picture of my oldest helping my youngest put on her shoes? Of course my girls are kind and loving and helpful to one another all the time…not. What you can’t hear in this picture is the 3-year-old off to the side screaming at the 5-year-old like a wild banshee because she’s not doing what she wants. Quaint indeed.

tomatoes

Or the picture of this bowl of tomatoes, which was also taken in a messy kitchen (look how close those cups are to the bowl on the picnic table, and you’d never know from the original photo!) while my tomato plants languish right outside the patio doors.

So next time you’re tempted to compare your real life to the Photoshop-perfect photos of someone else’s life, remember that we never truly see “the whole picture” online. And that’s okay, because we’re celebrating the best parts and sharing inspiration and encouragement…just as long as we keep it all in perspective!

Do you ever compare your life to photos you see on blogs? Are you a blogger who has to scoot the chaos to the side to take a photo like I do?


  • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

    Mandi. Thank you for this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sarahlynnrose Sarah Lynn Rose

    Yet again, you hit the nail on the head.  It is so easy to fall in to the tempation of comparison, and as my husband is always quick to remind me “Comparisons are pointless.”

    I realized about 6 mo ago that FB is very much the same way. You only see what people want you to see… some people post all of their glorious successes, some all of their discouraging failures, some just pithy remarks or comments on the world around them… in the end, in general, it is not a very realistic picture of life.  (Unless you are a person who updates your status every five minutes with the full gamut of your feelings… then you might be getting closer…)

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Ah, so true!

  • http://livingthebalancedlife.com Bernice Wood

    I love this post Mandi! You are so right. I think many of us just see that perfect shot and don’t realize what is the bigger picture. And that big picture is that none of us are perfect! 
    Bernice
    Letting go of perfect

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Nope. Not a one!

  • http://www.lynnskitchenadventures.com/ Lynns Kitchen Adventures

    Great post! And so very true. We tend to get focus on only the perfect picture and often there is so much more. Non of us are perfect. We all live real every day lives and non of our lives are perfect. Thanks for keeping it real. 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Lynn!

  • http://www.cleansmartsimple.blogspot.com AlexisAnne

    Haha SO true. I always crop my photos extra close for a reason! I’ve been thinking about blogging about this same topic for awhile, but you’ve beat me to it. At least I know it resonates with many!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      LOL, definitely send me the link if you do post!

  • moreygirl

    amen! I just wrote a post on this not too long ago too:) especially after being discouraged after comparing myself to some people’s fb statuses. It’s really hard not to look at what everyone else wants you to see and turn around and see your mess! Thanks for being honest!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I think comparison definitely breeds discontentment…which doesn’t mean that I’m not tempted to do it myself!

  • http://overcomingbusy.com/ OvercomingBusy

    lol!! I needed to take a picture of something for a future blog post the other day and had to rearrange my kitchen counter to find a clear space! Some days are just like that for everyone. It’s life.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Yep, and while I LOVE having a clean home, I don’t want to sacrifice real life for that!

  • http://uncorrupted.net Brittany

    YAY FOR THIS POST!!! :)

  • http://twitter.com/granolacatholic Lisa

    I think we all do the same photo tricks. But I am trying to get my house to look my photos more often. I have decided that it is easier to have the house clean than to clean it up on photoshop. 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      LOL! That is true! Although I will say that I’m okay with the state of my house during the day. We clean up every night; we just tend to have a lot of things in progress during the day, and the house reflects that!

  • http://adelightfulhome.com Stacy

    I love you for this! I have often done the same thing (scoot things out of the way for a picture). I hear you say that your home is not perfect during the day (in the Simple Mom blog cast) and my respect for your grew immensely :)  

    Thanks for being real. It helps us all!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Stacy!

  • http://www.knewlywifed.blogspot.com Britt@knewlywifed

    SOOOO very true!

  • Sarah C

    thanks for this.  I needed a get real moment.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Hehe, I need those fairly often myself!

  • http://www.farfromflawlesslife.blogspot.com Missy June

    I often think my own home looks better in photos than it does in real life, so I figure the same is true for others. 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I love your comments — I get the feeling that you’re very comfortable in your skin, which I think is a great way to go through life!

  • http://www.NewLatina.net Angelica Perez

    Love this post, Mandi. Authenticity is king.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Angelica — that means a lot coming from you! Authenticity has definitely been my word of the year.

  • http://blog.michellemista.com/ Michelle Mista

    Mandi — Thank you so much for this reality check. Sometimes it is very hard not to compare your own reality to the polished photos that you see on blogs. 

  • Adaimia

    I was linked to this from a frugal living blog that I read (and love, FLNW) and this is great!  I especially love the end where you say it’s ok because we are celebrating the good parts of life.  Definitely going to be checking out your blog :)

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Adaimia  — and welcome!

  • Joy

    It is so true.  We all do it, we all compare.  AND, we all scoot the clutter just far enough out of the camera’s view.  Why?  Well you don’t see too many pins on pinterest of people’s clutter. :)  We love beauty, which isn’t bad.  I think if we all just realize that everyone has mess in their life, we can give grace to ourselves and others. That has certainly been freeing for me.  To realize, whether on the computer or in real life, you are usually just seeing the best of someone, and the clutter is just out of view. :)
    Thanks for this post!!
    Blessings!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      You mean you didn’t Pin my clutter? So sad. LOL!

      “Everyone has mess in their life” — so true, in so many ways!

  • http://www.athankfullheart.blogspot.com/ Miranda @ A ThankFULL Heart

    Yes, yes, yes! You hit the nail on the head, Mandi. I will definitely share this post!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Miranda!

  • http://www.1momsmission.com Selena

    So true!  Not far from this concept is the post I wrote for you:  http://motherhood.yourway.net/why-cant-i-be-more-like-her/ 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Ha, you know…I actually had this post planned way back then and then I figured you’d covered it well enough, so I took it off the calendar until I started feeling the urge to take the photos again!

  • Anna

    I can be really bad at doing the comparison.  It’s easier in real life because you get a more accurate picture of the whole person
    Since I only blog to keep in touch with distant family & friends, I don’t worry about editing pictures, etc.  But our house has been more cluttered these past few weeks, and I find myself cringing every time I take a picture.  C’est la vie.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      C’est la vie sounds like a pretty good motto!

  • The Loving Earth

    I thought I was the only one to keep the mess out of the focus when taking pictures in the kitchen ;p thanks for sharing that I have company. And your home tour, sometime back , was my inspiration. I have got the garage! ;D Will send you the picture once I have cleared the mess- LOl

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Hehe — would love to see it, mess or not!

  • Les Botchar

    so true.  I have been coveting curtains I saw in an online photo on a blog….till that moment, I loved my own curtains just fine!  we are always wanting, yearing, dreaming of something else — but I will remember this post next time my mind wanders off it’s own lovely green yard!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      This is such a poignant comment, Les — I loved every word of it. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Muthering Heights

    This is awesome!!  :)

    My favorite discussion with a decor blogger ended with a wink from her, and the quote, “never underestimate the power of a zoom lens.”  :)

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Ha — love it!

  • Lisa Gould

    Love this post!  When friends share pictures of their kids I often check out the background and love it when I see some chaos in the house, makes me feel like I’m in good company.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      LOL, this really did make me laugh out loud!

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    LOVE this!!! You rock to share this with us. Seriously. This is totally my home! :) Keep keepin’ it real! :)

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, Christin!! :)

  • Living Waters by LeAnn

    Loved the true to life pictures! Thanks for sharing your world and helping us all relax a little. We are all works in process.
    Blessings to you!

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks so much, LeAnn!

  • Terri Bonin

    Thank you for being real! This is great!!

  • Darlene

    You are so clever to point this out.  We all get lost in the illusion of what everybody else’s life is like.

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